Matt: July 2006 Archives

Top 10 Most Violent Children's Games

I can't believe that he left out Butts Up. Remember that? You would bounce a ball off a wall (or a garage door in most cases) then someone would pick it up or catch it and whip it at the wall again. If they ever dropped the ball or got hit by it on the bounce they would have to run to the wall as fast as they could. If another player could throw the ball and hit the wall before the dropper reached it every other player would get a throw at the dropper's butt.

Also: Bloody Knuckles.

I am glad somebody recognized the inherent danger of Slip 'n' Slide though. Who the hell thought throwing yourself at a thin tarp on the ground would be fun? Usually placed in close proximity to something like a sprinkler head that may or may not rip off several layers of skin if you happened to hit it in your frenzied, uncontrollable slide. And god help you if you hit a dry spot along the Crocodile Mile. Screeeeeech.

Now kids play XBox. And if they ever go outside they stand on gas motor-powered scooters or glide around on those damn shoes with wheels in the heels. Healies or whatever. Darn whippersnappers.

Well, the internship is winding to a close, just about 2 weeks left. It's just about time for my broke ass to start looking for a job that actually pays me money. I'm not sure if I want to go into the restaurant business again. On the plus side, the hours are pretty flexible, which is good for when school starts up again, and it pays better than most other part time jobs when you factor tips in. On the, um, minus side, I didn't have a very good experience at my other job, it was pretty cutthroat when it came to getting tipped out, with servers not paying what you deserved and other bussers not splitting tips evenly when there were several on at a time.

I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that the restaurant was always on the verge of going under due to lack of business, so all the waitstaff were stingy with the small tips they made. I can't hold that against them, but I think if I will have to work at a busier place next time. Even if that means selling my soul and working at a chain like Chili's.

Well, if anybody knows of any openings I'm all ears.

It's been at this for 2 weeks.

Dear God,
Why do you hate California? What did we ever do to you?
Your friend,
Matt

So I was editing a letter today about this poor woman who is in town for her sister's funeral. They waited at over a week for her to be cremated, because there were so many bodies.

So her last paragraph asks this question, and I'm pretty sure it was unintentional.

"Because one was retired and living on a fixed income without much money for services, does one get put on the back burner?"

That settles it, I'm going to hell.